Pg. 8: first layer of the sex myth (the myth is a regulatory behavior system): media myth of a hyper-sexualized society - there is only one particular way to be sexual
Second layer: the cultural and emotional value invested in sex (it’s the source of more perfect pleasure than any other human activity). Sex isn’t the problem, it’s the importance placed on it
Mid ‘00s: first half involved the rise of Girls Gone Wild, Playboy going from soft-core porn mag to aspirational pop culture brand
Eroticism could be a source of power
Sexuality is arena increasingly seen as a place where power was exercised, books promoting casual sex possibilities and women taking off clothes for soft-core men’s mags
Levy talked about how sex and female empowerment had merged and certain types of sexual expressions had being compulsory
Her book helped the commentariat latch onto idea that this generation was more sexual than previous
Pg.14: Deborah Rodman - casual sex inhibits relationships
Slate Magazine Mark Regerus talked about casual sex and “sexual economics” and the male/female power imbalance
Hills discovered that college people aren’t actually hooking up as much as the media says or even had intercourse
Since the revolution, concrete changes in what we know about sex and our behaviors but the transformative part is how we think about it - the types of behavior we condone
“Sexing the Millennium” - Linda Grant, sex was political and what you did would transform society
Pg. 24: the shift is a rejection of repression that happened at the same time with the transformation of the middle class, the old petite bourgeoisie were replaced by a new bourgeoisie made up of people working in sales, marketing, and creative industries
The original middle class were small business owners and they weren’t working poor or the aristocracy, they were different
Wealthy to own their business which made them stand out, they stood out because they had their own set of ethics - moderation, purity
Now the middle class is not repressed and not moralizing and that is a marker (the desire not to be judged)
Cultural theorist Mark Jancovich talks about this
Pg. 26: the New York observer said that sexual desire had been replaced by narcissism, article written by Nate Freeman
“Sex is not a natural act and other essays” by Lenore Tiefer
This is because it’s all about freedom, sex is seen as a path to status, self-repression, and personal fulfillment
Victorians worried about the reproduction of the poor and the middle class and upper classes not procreating enough, needed to be brought under conscious control (restraint-narrative)
2011 essay Natasha Vargas-Cooper, sex might destroy us, the power (the flip side is talking about its magic)
1500s - feudal, farming communities
Mid 1600s - transition into industrial society (identity could now be shaped by hard work and force of will, not fixed anymore)
Transition from agrarian - industrial - now awareness of self distinct from others, attentiveness to how your action impacted
German social scientist called it “the civilizing process”
Awareness of others make you aware of yourself and people started modifying behavior
Pg. 52: consumer sex (shopping kind of sex) isn’t about pleasure or a desire to connect with other people, it’s about proving something to yourself and others
“Sexual conduct” John Gagnon - instead of constraining, societies invent an importance for sex in order to maintain social stability (high reproductive activity and conforming to other areas of life)
Products that make one sexually appealing (what we consumed)
Also connected to what we produce (successful people are considered more attractive)
Reproduction itself is an economic good
So there’s a reason why sex is promoted as a path to status and self worth and there is a suggestion that if we produce and consume in the correct way we get more access to it and it encourages behavior that is economically desirable
1937: Willard Waller talks about the “rating and dating complex”
Dating started in the 1920s because of the car
Waller described dating as a “dalliance relationship” and that dating operated on a market-based system (a persons dating success reflects their status)
Pg. 105: being hot and horny is the opposite of desire, it’s thinking not feeling, a hunger to be recognized by others (talk is about what you did, who you did it with, not how it made you feel) but this won’t make you feel deeply desirable and teach you how to desire others
today’s modern women: sex is not something done to assuage others and is now an expression of identity and empowered self-determination (before engaging it was an act of service)
It’s a modern concept to think that women were naturally less sexual. By the 1800s, women especially white, middle class women were seen as enforcers of virtue, also emergence of female desire as a matter of identity and how it can corrupt a person
Women are taught that their sex drives are weak and that our value lies in being “chosen” (a hookup too!)
2013 article New York Times Daniel Bergman: the neural networks in women are less stimulated because we are taught that desire and expression are not positive (the message that women want less sex than men)
The modern woman is like the fearless Lady Haha or the 1980s Madonna, the Madonna/Gaga Complex
Pg. 156: Hills interviews a woman named Priya who has short-term liaisons (physical chemistry more not really one-night stands, she is content with either outcome)
She believes that having sex outside of a relationship shows confidence. Priya and her friends have casual sex because they want it, not because they want validation
Pg. 157: I identify with Jennifer. When she set the terms, she felt liberated. It wasn’t casual sex that made Jennifer feel bad but the circumstances! One night stands were acts of liberation
Old: women as sexual objects New: women as sexual subjects
“Subjectification” - sense of self is shaped by the stories, norms that are around us
This is linked to class, which women are seen as sexual agents and which are not
sex and “lifestyle package”
Pg. 163: 2014 study “slut shaming” is more about economic class and social status
A failure to successfully perform an affluent femininity (wear the right clothes, date the right guys)
True sexual autonomy is not having unwanted sex or unavailable on her terms
The Sex Myth says that sex tells us who we really are. You are a slut - not just sex as an act
Believing out sex lives define us not only shapes our actions but also influences the experiences we believe we are capable of partaking in
Foucault created the term “subjectification” to describe the process of matching our sex loves to our self-image and self-presentation in irder to conform to an ideal
Pg. 199: individuals become objects through learning to get control of themselves, not through the authority of others
Making sex important in Western culture is destructive - it’s controlling and regulatory. Also, the increase and merging the act of sex and the self wouldn’t be liberatory but cause people to experiment less
The question: “does this act conform to my identify?”
Foucault was wrong because now the culture is more liberal, our sense of self can evolve over time because we can let go of the belief that sex doesn’t define us
The Sex Myth derives its power from two ideas
“True” sexual appetites are being suppressed by an external force
That we will find the truth of who we are through unrestricted sexual expression
Sex is now demanded of us - shift in how power is exercised, demands a new vision of sexual freedom
The Sex Myth is not liberal, it’s just a regulatory force that shapes our sexual beliefs and behavior to reflect the culture
Liberal: sex is the ultimate pleasure
The Myth is also responsible for slut-shaming and abstinence education (sex is the worst thing, it’s something that degrades and threatens us)
It’s reactionary!
Not just about changing the rules of the Sex Myth but needing to eradicate it, that is the solution!
Sexual histories but are a series of events that may have had meaning but they don’t define us
Getting laid is a matter of luck, opportunity, and sex drive, not desirability
Reframing what it means to be “free” sexually is what needs to happen in the new sexual revolution
Levy criticizes the idea that sex is intrinsically liberating
2013 xojane.com, article from Jillian Horowitz
2014 ‘Toast’ article Julie Decker
Hills has a problem the trend of “sex negativity”
Sex is neutral, neither empowering nor repressing
Problematizing it as a “negative” force won’t eradicate the pressure to be sexual in particular, socially desirable methods
Seeing it as an act like any other is the solution says sociologist Stevi Jackson
The significance of sex makes sex as something that is fixed and interchangeable, not something to be played with and explored
It’s play!
The new sexual revolution revolution means confronting the Sex Myth
The ultimate freedom is having sexual desires and experiences be just one part of who we are
Hills says we are responsible for creating our future (things we say, do, or choose to believe)